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Thread: Don't know if this counts as abuse

  1. #61
    Unregistered Guest

    restraining order

    can you get a restraining order for mental and emotional abuse as well as verbal?

  2. #62
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    can you get a restraining order for mental and emotional abuse as well as verbal?
    might wanna ask a lawyer in your country/state? laws differ from place to place, and we aren't qualified to offer legal advice
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  3. #63
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    I've been going over my history... I see a pattern in being incapacitated

  4. #64
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Kindness & hugs.
    Been thinking about this whole subject...'is it or is it not abuse'.

    Clearly what constitutes legal abuse varied between counties cultures and even states. Bit is not too hard to pin down what applies in a particular area, can do this via the local DV shelter, or Community Law Centre or if you have the resources by checking with a lawyer. What I find less cut and dried is how to define behaviours that do not reach the legal thresh-hold needed to be called unlawful...a lot of the not ok behaviour I lived with (and found very distressing) fell into this category - upsetting but not outside the law...not things that the authorities had power to do anything about - or were interested in interested it. Things like being insulted, demeaned and emotionally manipulated, having no say in situations that impacted on me and such.

    Since coming to Fort I have realised that behaviour does not have to be illegal to have a serious impact on those who live with it. Indeed as a survivour of both illegal (rape and physical violence) and the not ok but not illegal stuff like that I mentioned above I now believe that any and all of these behaviours have the potential to cause trauma not only at the time but in the longer-term.

    I am now at the point of believing that it is immaterial whether what has upset me is legally defined as abuse...what is more important is what it was like for me to live through...whether I perceived it as traumatic, whether it has left me feeling hurt and damaged. It has left me feeling lesser, needing help and support to heal from.

    Have a personal example. As a child among other things I was blamed, punished and made to suffer for stuff that was outside my control. Later as an adult I had a relationship with a partner who also was quick to unjustly blame me. I found this aspect of their treatment of me hard to bear...could not take it in my stride. Other people may have been able to but my previous history made me very sensitive and reactive to what they were doing - continued to do even though I told them I found it unfair and hurtful.

    My thoughts for what they are worth.
    Rest in my arms precious child; cradled and warm. You are safe. The war is over.

  5. The following 3 users say thank you to Jane for this useful post:

    eagle22 (09-03-2017),Manya (09-03-2017),weepingwillow (09-10-2017)

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