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Thread: helping

  1. #1
    Unregistered Guest


    My friend is coming out of a emotional abusive marriage. They were married last August and after the marriage is when he became abusive. Luckily she got out in October but is still feeling the affects of this love gone wrong. My question is how can I help her? Is there a book I can read or?

  2. #2
    Tasha1701D's Avatar
    Tasha1701D is offline Fort Security Chief & Stargazer
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Penguins & hugs work, no prayers or religious refs
    I'm glad your friend has someone who cares about her well-being after she's been through an abusive situation. If you browse through Fort's library for some resources, you might find some interesting pages that could apply to your situation. I personally like this page here, a personal note to those supporting their loved ones as they try to heal from abuse.

    What I've found the most helpful from my loved ones is for them to treat me as they would any other person--care for me, let me make my own decisions, don't try to villianize those who have abused me, support me as I go to those professionals who will give me the help I need to recover from my experiences, etc. My relationship with my loved ones hasn't changed because of my abuse, and I hope that they would still see me for the person they care about, not treat me with "kid gloves" or any other special treatment. I do like to be able to vent emotions sometimes, but just to release the emotional pressure that abuse has left me with. I don't want my friends to try to be my therapist, I just need them to be emotionally supportive. I'll sort through my trauma and its aftermath with my therapist, in that setting.

    I truly hope your friend is able to find healing from her experience, and I'm glad she has someone who cares about her well-being in her life. for you both.

    May you have peace, live long, and prosper.

    "On the starship Enterprise, no one is alone." ~Capt. Jean-Luc Picard in The Bonding, ST:TNG Season 3
    "Seize the time, Meribor-live now! Make now always the most precious time. Now will never come again." ~Capt. Jean-Luc Picard as Kamin in The Inner Light, ST:TNG Season 5

  3. The following 2 users say thank you to Tasha1701D for this useful post:

    AnyWoman (08-13-2014),Manya (08-10-2014)

  4. #3
    Unregistered Guest
    Me too. In all truth we dated and trying to help her can be pretty hard at times

  5. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Kindness & hugs.
    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    Me too. In all truth we dated and trying to help her can be pretty hard at times
    I agree it is one of the hardest things in the world to stand by and watch a loved one do what they have a right to do... make their own decisions when you see hurtful consequences that they are not able to see or ready to accept.

    I hope you have someone supporting you as you support your friend.
    Rest in my arms precious child; cradled and warm. You are safe. The war is over.

  6. #5
    Unregistered Guest
    Thanks. Yeah I mean I want to help her even if she likes me or not. I just wish I knew if she did and how to help her. Thanks for all your opinions

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