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Thread: Worried for my daughter

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2014
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    Worried for my daughter

    My name is Robert. I am married and have a 2 year old daughter with my wife of 4 months, relationship of 4 years. My wife has had anger issues in the past that she refuses to resolve and I am at a cross. She told me tonight, when our daughter was having a bit of a tantrum while gong to bed, that sometimes when Q (my daughter) acts like that she just puts her outside. I glazed over it to not insight an all out fighting match, but I am generally concerned and need advice. Do I simply confront her? I work out of town on occasion and I'm sure that is when this kind of fear-discipline behavior is happening which is more evident that she is aware it is way out of line, as I have not witnessed it. I feel like I have to call the local family services and request some help. I don't want to isolate or destroy my family, but I can't do nothing while I feel my small daughter is being neglected. Please give me your opinion?
    Thanks
    Robert

  2. The following user says thank you to robrus84 for this useful post:

    The secret ones (07-14-2014)

  3. #2
    Join Date
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    for you and your daughter. I've moved your post here to our guest folder because registration here is for those that have or are being abused for privacy reasons. We do have some resources for supporters of those being abused, and you're very welcome to use the guest folder here to get some input as well.

    Sounds to me like you're aware of how dangerous it is to put a 2 year old child outside alone, especially for having a tantrum. Idk where you are, but in most states you're required to report things like this. If you feel you can trust your local family services, that's probably a great place to start. Can only imagine how hard this would be to do, but doing what you can to protect your daughter is, imo, the right thing and important thing to do.

    I'm sorry you and your daughter are dealing with this, but glad to hear that you are there for her and she has you on her side.
    It's time to do it now and do it loud/Killjoys, make some noise!
    Give a cheer for all the broken/Listen here, because it's who we are
    I'm the kind of human wreckage that you love
    My Chemical Romance
    I don't wanna be heard, I want to be listened to.
    Shaking hands with the dark parts of my thoughts, no
    twenty øne piløts |-/
    You were the song stuck in my head/Every song that I've ever loved
    My childhood spat back out the monster that you see
    If I can live through this/I can do anything
    Fall Out Boy

  4. The following 3 users say thank you to weepingwillow for this useful post:

    Jane (07-13-2014),lemongrab (07-14-2014),The secret ones (07-14-2014)

  5. #3
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    I am so sorry you are having to face this heart-breaking situation...I understand how distressing you are finding it. No easy way to say it...what your wife is doing to your infant daughter is not only very wrong...but also very unsafe. All parents has a non-negotiable responsibility to provide a physically and emotionally safe environment for their minor children. Imho you need to do what ever is needed to keep you daughter safe...that this is one of the most important roles you have as a parent.

    Sitting with you as you find the strength to do the right thing.
    Heading off on a mini vacation - some rest and recreation - be back at the end of the week - round about Sunday 24th

    Rest in my arms precious child; cradled and warm. You are safe. The war is over.

  6. The following 3 users say thank you to Jane for this useful post:

    lemongrab (07-14-2014),The secret ones (07-14-2014),weepingwillow (07-13-2014)

  7. #4
    Unregistered Guest

    Thank you

    I have decided to proceed with contacting the authorites tomorrow. I will give them detailed accounts of what I have witnessed and what she has told me and see what they recommend. I will have to confront her with their opinion later in the evening, so I know it will desolve into her defensive nature, but maybe the family services can offer her guidance and not just punishment. I am very much in love with my wife, but I know what is right and her actions need to be supervised as i am not always available. My greatest fear is that they will say without actually observing the act there is no recourse, but maybe I'm just naive. Thank you for your support, I was an absolute mess last evening over it and tried to hide it as I have two older daughters from a prior relationship that were in town for a visit and didn't want to escalate the issue before speaking with an authority... And you guys. I basically came upon this site desperate for an ear and I greatly appreciate your comments.

  8. #5
    Join Date
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    if you use terms that refer to the family, it will help, the problem being a family issue, no one singled out. this may stop the defensive mode and you can ease into the specifics that are unsafe. too often people start with… "you are causing this and that." of course the person feels attacked and will shut down. it comes down to her inability to manage her own emotions.

    i hope all goes well and know that you are doing the right thing.

  9. The following 3 users say thank you to terry for this useful post:

    Jane (07-14-2014),The secret ones (07-14-2014),weepingwillow (07-14-2014)

  10. #6
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    Wanted to say that I hope this works out well for all of you. Cannot be an easy situation at all that you are dealing with, and I really admire that you are stepping up to protect your daughter.
    It's time to do it now and do it loud/Killjoys, make some noise!
    Give a cheer for all the broken/Listen here, because it's who we are
    I'm the kind of human wreckage that you love
    My Chemical Romance
    I don't wanna be heard, I want to be listened to.
    Shaking hands with the dark parts of my thoughts, no
    twenty øne piløts |-/
    You were the song stuck in my head/Every song that I've ever loved
    My childhood spat back out the monster that you see
    If I can live through this/I can do anything
    Fall Out Boy

  11. The following 2 users say thank you to weepingwillow for this useful post:

    Jane (07-14-2014),The secret ones (07-14-2014)

  12. #7
    Join Date
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    Kindness & hugs.
    Hi Robert - thanks for the update...your family is real lucky to have a husband and father like you in their lives...
    Heading off on a mini vacation - some rest and recreation - be back at the end of the week - round about Sunday 24th

    Rest in my arms precious child; cradled and warm. You are safe. The war is over.

  13. The following user says thank you to Jane for this useful post:

    The secret ones (07-14-2014)

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