Jane, you are right. I have to have my act together here if I am to be of any help to my boyfriend. My outrage and grief for what he has been through has affected me deeper than I had thought. I witnessed his mother abuse him. She emotionally abused him with me sitting right there. I'm thinking if she is like this while I'm there what has she been doing to him when nobody else is around??? Many times I left his mother's house crying because of how she treated him. I have never met a more selfish, self-centered person in my life...and I'm in my 50's and thought I'd seen a lot! She treated him like he was her slave and he had to follow her orders no matter what else was going on. She embarrassed and humiliated him in front of me. She would have a slight smile on her face while doing this. I asked my boyfriend if she had always been this way or if she was senile. He said she had ALWAYS been like this!

Here is one of the stunts she pulled while I was visiting my boyfriend at the house. Due to the advancing problems with her spine she became incontinent...both ways. She had to wear the adult briefs to contain the mess and he got to change her. One day my boyfriend called me while I was on my way to the house after work. He said, "You might not want to come over tonight. Mom dropped a big, smelly load in her pants and refuses to let me change her and clean her up". I told him if this was her way of trying to run me off she was sadly mistaken. I told him to not feel embarrassed or anything that she was the one who would have to endure what she had done to herself! Hey...I'm a parent....and nobody dropped smellier loads than my oldest child! I took a deep breath and endured the evening with his mother sitting in her own excrement. She never tried that trick again! Since I wasn't running out the door though she was especially demanding and cross that evening. It kills me...even after she was finally admitted to a full care nursing facility she was judged to be in her right mind right down to the last month of her life. Her behavior was her choice! What mother does this stuff to her SON??? I'm struggling with my anger, outrage and even grief at how he has been treated! No wonder he can't love or be close to anyone! Mothers are supposed to love their sons and daughters. If what I observed is "normal" for her no wonder he is afraid to get close to anyone! What she showed him was NOT love and that is for sure!

I'm sure this incident was just the tip of the iceberg....