+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 2 of 2

Thread: Do I or does my question belong here?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2014

    Do I or does my question belong here?

    First of all, Im new ... so Im a bit unsure if I really deserve to be able to join as my situation is not as severe as most. I feel lucky compared to what some have had to go through.

    Anyway, I was in more of a mental and verbal abusive relationship for 13 years. I am a very forgiving person and try to do things in a friendly manner to avoid any conflict. I was recently granted a TPO against my ex after he voluntarily moved out in October. I thought things could be civil with the break up as we have a 9 year old together, even to the point of him calling me asking if he could finish off projects at my house. I know now I should have told him to stay away but out of not thinking I told him ok. He came over, failed to finish the work so I asked him to come back the next day and finish it. It started when I walked out and witnessed him pouring water into my gas tank. It was a bad moment, he ended up crying saying he could not live without me. I felt bad and let him get into the car with me to make sure he had done no damage to it. I was driving when he grabbed the steering wheel and tried to run me into the trees but through all my strength of hanging on and maintaining control of my car he failed. I made him walk back to his truck parked at my house and he left. I filed a TPO against him. The following week he said he would not get his child until I gave him what he invested into the house, as in items like storm doors etc. He used his own child as a pawn.

    Moving on the TPO was granted for a year and he was told he had to use my father as the drop up and drop off of our child to start every other weekend from that date. He was not allowed any contact with me as of that point.

    Since then he has consistently used my father as a mediator for his demands on when he wants our child (for a pre planned vacation on my weekend including 2 days out of school) and is now going through him to stress me out about his belongings and what I owe him and how he is going to deduct any clothing he has to buy for our child out of the support. He even sent a neighbor around to ask to use one of his tools sitting in the shed. I refused as I do not want to be responsible for his property.

    So my question is for anyone who has had to go the TPO route, is he violating it by making his demands thru the designated contact person? What rights do I have to say no to his families visitation demands as the custodial parent?

    Any help would be appreciated as I cant get a lawyer as I make above poverty level but not enough to afford to pay for one. And Im so stressed out.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    i'm unsure of your legal question, whether this communication and the demands are within the law. i would guess it depends on what the demands are. if they are relative to visitation, then he might have a valid point. if they are concerning material possessions, i'm unsure. i imagine this is tough enough, dealing with this drop off situation, demands complicate things.

    if me, i would ask for everything to be in writing. if he is asking for tools, for example, you then have a written form of the request and a witness to the transfer. that would take out the negotiating at drop off as they should not be involved with that. if it became a real conflict, i would then prepare a list of all shared property and see if you can negotiate a division of items.

    i did this prior to divorce and it helped that when we were discussing the more difficult things, child custody, visitation rights, etc, all the property had already been taken care of. divorce is never easy but whatever you can do to settle matters quickly, calmly will be good in the long run.

+ Reply to Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may post new threads
  • You may post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts