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Thread: Alcoholic Father/Abused Mother & Family

  1. #1
    redline Guest

    Alcoholic Father/Abused Mother & Family

    My mother is emotionally and verbally abused by my alcoholic father like all the time. She is looking for a place to move out and separate and divorce after the appropriate time passes (6 months). My question is: can she call the cops on him in the meantime if there are no physical trauma marks? He shouts at her and cusses her out and plays loud music at two in the morning all the time intentionally so that she can't get any sleep before she goes to work the next day. She is traumatized and exhausted because of long shifts and the lack of sleep and sanity at home. So can the police do something about that?

    I'd like him to have some kind of criminal record if possible before the divorce, but I'm not sure if the police will get involved if there is no apparent physical trauma (he avoids hitting her/ he is smart enough to realize that). But if the bastard picks up a criminal record before the divorce, it may make the divorce easier on my mother. She is an extremely hard-working and nice person (doctor/family physician), while he is a non-functional, non-working alcoholic loser and a leech on the family. I'd hate to see him bleed my mother dry with things like alimony later on, while getting away with so much abuse after all these years. That's not fair.

    My brother and I have long since moved out of the house but he used to abuse us too (and physically too - unlike my mother). I don't know what to do. I mean I don't know what to do to help my mother now, short of buying of a rifle and putting a bullet in my father's brain while he is passed out. I don't want to do anything illegal but I'll put a stop to this monster if it comes to that... He doesn't deserve to be alive- he should have died a long time ago but nature is cruel and somehow he hangs on physically while drinking from morning to evening/or passing out and shouting and cursing at people all the time.

    I'm at a loss here. Please help with any information and/or life experience. Thank you.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    this sounds terribly difficult for everyone. i have heard from others that the police shy away from domestic disputes unless there is a threat of harm or actual physical harm was done. i suppose it is too difficult to walk into a domestic situation and know what the dynamics are, who to believe, how to respond accordingly. it would seem once your mother moves out, then most of this would cease. you say she's looking so clearly, she has made the decision. her financial situation, being a physician, allows her the freedom to have a place of her own. it shouldn't be long if she is truly making to effort to get out.

    i hope everyone finds some support during this time. a counselor might help in providing some therapy and stability. it's difficult to watch the dissolve of a union and this is a parental figure making it all the more complicated.

    divorce is never easy and if one party is reactive, acting out of anger, is can become really ugly. staying neutral, allowing the two of them to work through this might be the best option.

  3. The following user says thank you to terry for this useful post:

    Jane (12-14-2013)

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Kindness & hugs.
    I have nothing practical to add to what Terry has already provided. But do understand the distress this tough situation is causing you. To watch a loved parent deal with abuse is hard. I am sure your mother finds it helps her cope knowing that she has your loving support.
    Rest in my arms precious child; cradled and warm. You are safe. The war is over.

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