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Thread: Lasting effects of emotional abuse/social withdrawal

  1. #1
    Unregistered Guest

    Lasting effects of emotional abuse/social withdrawal

    Hey, I experienced some abuse a couple years ago, although I only recently learned what to call it. Specifically, the emotional abuse was in the form of humiliation by my parents following an incident of physical abuse. Some of the symptoms I was showing included:

    Sleep disorders
    Low self-esteem or self worth
    Social withdrawal
    Self blame and doubt
    Shyness or timidness
    Intense feelings of anger
    Weight gain

    I have adjusted for the most part since then; however, I am withdrawn and feel anxious about social situations--to the extent that I have no friends at all--and I often experience intense feelings of anger. I did not have anyone to talk to about my experience and I have never sought out professional help. My initial response to help curve some of the negative effects I was experiencing was to set individual goals for myself. The goals at the time reflected only academic, career, and physical health goals. They also reflected the lack of professional advice.

    Moving forward, I have trouble socializing with people at school. It's like a bad habit that I can't kick. I also feel like I'm stuck with acquaintances at work that will never develop into friendships. The isolation that I have experienced has left me detached from many of the interests I once had. Having no history of a social life is preventing me from having a social life.

    The trouble I am having with building meaningful relationships with people has left me with a feeling that I am only back at zero, whatever the progress I have made since. My attempts to set "social goals" are riddled with obstacles of self-doubt and the feeling that if I seek relationships and I am rejected continuously, I will eventually lose my mind or kill myself. Similarly, my feelings of intense anger are often accompanied by the feeling that if I express it, I will lose control and won't be able to stop.

    I am writing this now for various reasons. If you are reading this and you are experiencing anything similar please seek professional advice A.S.A.P. I don't deserve to "be at zero" and either do you. I feel like I have done lasting damage to myself by not getting help, and not understanding what I went through. I can say that I do not blame myself, but I'm just saying that--I have no idea what it means. I am also stressed out at the moment and this often comes back up when I am stressed. Writing this has helped me organize my thoughts a little. If you are reading this and you want to share your story, or have any advice/opinions for me at all, I am open to your thoughts.

    Thank you

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Kindness & hugs.
    As a person who also has lived with the experience of abuse and its life-changing impact I can really identify with your situation. Like you I ended up with many of the reactions you included in your list...I think everyone of us who has experienced abuse deals with it in their own...for many of us coming to terms and healing from the damage that resulted from the abuse is a tough roller coaster of a journey...often a two steps forward one step back sort of journey.
    However I can reassure you that with hard work, support and the help of a trauma counselor it does get better...with work things like social anxiety, fearfulness and esteem issues etc can be overcome.

    Thank you for your post...I admire your courage and wish you well with your own healing journey.
    Rest in my arms precious child; cradled and warm. You are safe. The war is over.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    non American speaking planet
    gently and safely please
    Hi Guest

    Also, like Jane experience lasting affects, and agree with her post. There are many in the Fort with similar struggles.

    I am sorry for what you now experience, but it can change.


  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Hugs, cakes & giraffes :D


    Thankyou for sharing I can identify so much with those symptoms when I was younger.

    I hope you have found a good Dr & a therapist to work with, you have us as friends now.

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