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Thread: how to k*ll my anger

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
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    new york
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    calmness

    how to k*ll my anger

    I am angry, angry at myself , angry at them and angry for loving them more that myself . Angry that I don't want them to get hurt but I think differently for myself, I think that I deserve to get hurt ... I deserve this..
    Be safe whoever you are ~

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    VA
    Posts
    2,444
    finding compassion for ourselves is soooo difficult. we extend it easily to others but deny our own acceptance. we often blame ourselves. that blame gives us control, a logic for events which helps us make sense of things. we do that to find comfort. if we can point a finger then we can have control, even if that finger points at oneself.

    for me, learning to accept myself, flaws and all, was/is hard. being vulnerable enough to share those weaknesses is scary. i've learned tho, it's in the sharing that i found connection with others, shared experiences, then acceptance of who i am. it's an every day trial but i keep at it.

    holding those accountable for their actions is very complicated for me. i still want to find logic in their behavior yet there is not any reason that i can find that would allow me to act in the same way. i try to make some sense of it but i've come to a point where i've given up, well, most times. i was spending way too much energy trying to figure them out and it was holding me back.

  3. The following 3 users say thank you to terry for this useful post:

    adonis (11-16-2013),Jane (10-24-2013),weepingwillow (10-24-2013)

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
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    131

    hi

    I get angry too I go through these fits that I call rages. nobody knows that I'm raging because I do it in silence. Through therapy I've learned to put all the blame on my abusers. I did the homework that was given to me by my therapist. I found that doing the homework really helped me.

  5. The following user says thank you to Trudy for this useful post:

    adonis (11-16-2013)

  6. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    new york
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    calmness
    thanks everyone for your answers
    my T is bad he doesn't really helps he just annoys me more and makes me angrier..
    life is hard but I'm sure others have it hard too if not more than me but this site makes me feel like for once It revolves around me
    Be safe whoever you are ~

  7. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    non American speaking planet
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    538
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    gently and safely please
    Hi Adnos

    Anger is ok. It is a feeling. It is what you do with anger that matters. some people can turn anger into something positive, or expel it through physical activity eg play ball, cleaning, excersise, tearing up an old newspaper, relaxation or visualisation. others do not manage anger in a non destructive way and wind up in ordered anger management classes or worse.
    Don't think it is possible or healthy to try to kill off anger. Anger is a very important feeling, it just doesn't seem like it. Anger can be constructive or destructive. Anger often protects or destracts from what is really going on.
    You have earnt the right to feel anger. It is up to you what you do with it.

  8. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Posts
    19,844
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    Kindness & hugs.
    May I encourage you to treat yourself as gently and kindly as you would treat your best friend...I my book I believe you deserve no less.

    Sitting with you as you find the courage to treat yourself with the compassion you show to others.

    For you.
    Rest in my arms precious child; cradled and warm. You are safe. The war is over.

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