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Thread: Was this coersive or consentual?

  1. #11
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Posts
    3
    Thank you for sharing the video!

  2. #12
    Unregistered Guest

    Need to talk to someone

    Hi, my boyfriend has been quite nasty with me recently but the other day he raped me. He denies it he just says he was taking control and he gets angry when I say anything now he's acting like nothing's happened I'm scared of him now he's done this to me. I can't tell anyone because I'm worried they won't believe me because he says it's a lie and laughs at me. He won't let me have any money to go out or anything so I can't even go see my mum I'm so fed up I feel stuck

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    NYC
    Posts
    14,135
    i hear you. thing is though - you dont have to stay with him if you dont want to, no explanation necessary really. even if he's the sweetest guy in the world, you have the right to leave just because. if you call 911 and say that youre stuck with a bf you dont wanna be with but dont know where to go or what to do - they'll just come pick you up, take you to a shelter (if you got no other place to stay), put you on welfare, employment programs, housing waiting list, etc. eventually you'll get back on your feet. shelters arent fun, but, i mean, better than living with someone who abuses you.

    and with the rape - it doesnt matter what the police believe or dont believe personally, what matters is if they see enough evidence to try to convict the guy or not. and finding this evidence is a professional skill, they are trained to do it, and we/you arent, we/you cant tell if theres enough evidence or not, so it makes sense to talk to them and see what they say. majority of rapes are done by someone the victim knows, arent violent, dont leave any bruising or such - but they convict them somehow. even if they dont see enough evidence to charge the guy, it doesnt mean they dont believe you, just means they dont have enough to work with. and, either way, rape or no rape, you have every right to leave the guy if you wanna...
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  4. The following 3 users say thank you to Manya for this useful post:

    Jane (07-18-2016),Sunfl0wer (07-18-2016),weepingwillow (07-18-2016)

  5. #14
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Posts
    19,903
    Affection
    Kindness & hugs.
    If my partner raped me would be a deal breaker for me...an absolute one if they made light of it. However realise we are all different...have a friend who lives with a guy who is as nasty as to her. Lotsa people would run, however she has decided to stay and tolerate it. Her decision.
    Rest in my arms precious child; cradled and warm. You are safe. The war is over.

  6. The following 2 users say thank you to Jane for this useful post:

    Manya (07-18-2016),weepingwillow (07-18-2016)

  7. #15
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Posts
    19,903
    Affection
    Kindness & hugs.
    People interested in this thread may also like to read this related conversation http://www.fortrefuge.com/forum/show...ounts-as-abuse
    Rest in my arms precious child; cradled and warm. You are safe. The war is over.

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