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Thread: Was this coersive or consentual?

  1. #1
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    Was this coersive or consentual?

    My ex boyfriend - we've been broken up for nearly 2 years, we're still friends but have sex on a number of occasions over the past year.
    I have a new boyfriend now and told my ex boyfriend that under no circumstances was I ever going to cheat on him but we could still be friends as we were always pretty close before we got together and kept that friendship afterwards as well.
    So my ex came over to see me, the plan was just to drink tea, chat and generally hang out.
    That was fine to start with, my little girl was still awake and everything was fine. Then once I put her to bed he decided to sit next to me on the sofa. He started casually coming on to me, I told him to behave and to stop it and that it wasn't going to happen... but he couldn't seem to take no for an answer. He kept doing it despite me saying for him to stop, eventually he picked me up and took me to my bedroom.
    I told him to put me down and that I wasn't going to have sex with him and to stop. But he still wouldn't stop, he kept kissing me and putting his hands down my top, etc. He was laying on top of me and he was a lot stronger than me, I kept saying no, kept saying for him to stop it and he just replied "I can't stop" I pushed him away but he moved my hands and carried on, I kept pushing him away saying no stop but he kept going, he managed to undo my trousers and kept trying to pull them down and I kept pulling them back up.
    Eventually he managed to get them off an had undone his trousers, I didn't know what to do, I knew what he was going to do and I couldn't stop him. Eventually I stopped pushing him away as it was doing no good, he was much stronger than me, I just laid there telling him to stop but he kept going telling me how he wanted to make love to me one last time, that nobody would ever find out.
    Then I stopped fighting, I don't know why, I didn't want what was happening and I kept thinking about my boyfriend and how much it would hurt him if he ever found out, but I let it happen anyway. He didn't hurt me, he didn't threaten to hurt me, I knew he wouldn't hurt me, but I also knew that I couldn't stop him (if that even makes any sense!?)
    Afterwards what happened hadn't really registered.... was it rape? I don't know, because I stopped fighting does that mean I gave him consent? Because he didn't hurt me does that mean I basically just had normal sex with him or what? I'm really confused.

  2. #2
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    I don't discriminate; I hate everyone equally! XD (Srsly, though, hugs are awesome.)
    Yes, what did happen to you was rape. I'm very sorry this happened to you. I can only imagine how confused and embarrassed and hurt you must feel right now. :(

    You told him no. That should have been enough to get him to stop. But he didn't, so it was rape. Anything other than, "Yes, I would like have sex with you," means NO. And it just angers me so much that some people think otherwise, think it's okay to keep doing stuff even though the other person clearly doesn't want it.

    Also, WTF, "I can't stop"??? Was he possessed by an incubus?? Holy crap. Just...ugh. I have some choice words I can't utter right now. People always have control over their actions (with the exceptions of muscle spasms or, like...tics caused by Tourette's or something), especially an action as complex as having sex. That's hardly a muscle spasm!

    GAH!

    I am angry for you. If your boyfriend feels hurt by this or gets angry at you or has any reaction other than "Holy crap, you were raped, I'm so sorry, tell me how I can help," he is a crap. This was not your fault. You fought, you said no, you did not give consent.

    Safe hugs if you want one...

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    Hugs are good from those who are safe :)
    so sorry this has happened for you

    here listening if it helps

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    Quote Originally Posted by theredmarker View Post
    Also, WTF, "I can't stop"??? Was he possessed by an incubus?? Holy crap. Just...ugh. I have some choice words I can't utter right now. People always have control over their actions (with the exceptions of muscle spasms or, like...tics caused by Tourette's or something), especially an action as complex as having sex. That's hardly a muscle spasm!
    This is pretty much what I was thinking as well when I read this. "I can't stop" is just ridiculous. There is no way this is at all an acceptable response to "no". This wasn't making love, this was rape.

    I had something very similar happen to me, but I don't think I fought as much as you did. It took me a long time to come to terms with the fact that I hadn't consented, I had stopped fighting to protect myself. I was also in a situation where I could've kept fighting, but it was going to happen anyway. That's not consent, that's resignation and survival.

    If you're 16 or over, you're welcome to register. I'm sorry for what happened to you, but glad you've found Fort.
    "You're only given one little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it." -- Robin Williams
    "Don't be afraid of the shadows, that only means there's a light nearby." -- Evanescence
    "So when you’re feeling crazy, and things fall apart, listen to your head, remember who you are." -- Three Days Grace
    "But I am not really worried, I am not overly concerned. You try to tell yourself the things you tell yourself to make yourself forget." -- Counting Crows
    "Our brains are sick, but that's OK!"
    "Peace will win and fear will lose."

    "And I will say that we should take a moment and hold it, and keep it frozen and know that life has a hopeful undertone."
    "It ain't the speakers that bump hearts, it's our hearts that make the beat!" -- twenty øne piløts |-/

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    This was my post before I registered. I didn't want to register until someone confirmed it was rape... I didn't want to be wasting anyone's time.
    Thank you for the kind words
    It only happened a couple of days a go and I'm still trying to get my head around it.
    I feel like it was my fault somehow that I could have done something else to stop it.
    I don't know whether to tell my boyfriend, I feel really ashamed and like I cheated on him even though I didn't want to and I'm scared that he'll think it was me cheating too. If he doesn't think that then I'm afraid that he'll want to know who it was and I'm not ready to bring it all out into the open, I don't want anyone confronting my ex about it.... I just want to forget it ever happened.... my ex is engaged to be married, has a lovely little boy and a soon to be step son. I don't want anyone else hurt by this....

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    violet is offline Refreshing breeze of love
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    Welcome to Fort! I hope to see you around the forums or chat.

    I'm sorry you are still dealing with having this happen to you so recently.

    I can really relate to who I want to disclose personal traumatic experiences to. Sometimes people I've told traumatic experiences to have been supportive and other times they haven't.

    I'm not sure what would feel helpful to you, but I can share what I found helpful when I was dealing with traumatic experiences. When I've called helplines, I've had very good experiences and felt very supported and validated. I was able to discuss my concerns and hear information that was helpful to me during those times.

    The Fort library has an article I like called "Rape & Sexual Assault Support Links" here: http://www.fortrefuge.com/rape.html

    The article has a list of phone lines and online places that some survivors of sexual assault might find useful while they are deciding what options feel right for them. That article also has a couple of links that some survivors might find helpful with information about some options after finding out they have recently been raped.

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    I can relate to feeling like you've cheated even though you had no choice in the matter. It's always up to you who you tell things to, and I can understand not wanting to hurt other people. Something came to mind though while I was reading this, if he's engaged, but he's willing to do this to you, then he's obviously not worried about hurting other people. He wasn't worried about hurting you, his fiancee or your current BF.

    Not wasting anyone's time here, welcome to Fort!
    "You're only given one little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it." -- Robin Williams
    "Don't be afraid of the shadows, that only means there's a light nearby." -- Evanescence
    "So when you’re feeling crazy, and things fall apart, listen to your head, remember who you are." -- Three Days Grace
    "But I am not really worried, I am not overly concerned. You try to tell yourself the things you tell yourself to make yourself forget." -- Counting Crows
    "Our brains are sick, but that's OK!"
    "Peace will win and fear will lose."

    "And I will say that we should take a moment and hold it, and keep it frozen and know that life has a hopeful undertone."
    "It ain't the speakers that bump hearts, it's our hearts that make the beat!" -- twenty øne piløts |-/

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    He's never been overly concerned about anyone feelings besides his own to be honest.
    I on the other hand can't stomach the thought of hurting people.

    I tried confronting him about it today, to start with he was very apologetic, then he started trying to justify his actions. He told me "you didn't fight the whole way through though" then when he realised why I was confronting him he got his back up saying I had better not be accusing him of rape, etc... so I didn't. I completely bottled it and started blaming myself again... why didn't I fight the whole way through, why wasn't I more forceful, why did I let him come round in the first place, if I really didn't want it I would have kicked, bite, punched and screamed, etc, etc...... I feel like a bit of an impostor here to be honest....

    Thank you for the welcomes though, it's very much appreciated

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    PSA On Domestic Violence

    Hi i wanted to post this cool PSA I found on you tube. Its done by a deaf actress Deanna Bray who acted on the show Heroes and also in one of our favorite cheesy Canadian shows called Sue Thomas FB EYE.

    I hope its ok to post in the guest room where visitors can see things. I found her definition very helpful and concise.
    Idk just wanted to share it and hope it helps someone.
    [YOUTUBE]2_UclJCbDa0[/YOUTUBE]

    If this is not the right place for this feel free to move it where it belongs mods/admins.

    Kate

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    Thanks for sharing this informative recording about male to female DV. Imho it is important to also acknowledge that DV perpetrators are not always male - their targets not always female.

    The ABA Commission on Domestic and Sexual Violence has compiled research based statistics that clearly demonstrate this truth...here are some excepts from this resource. It is a bit wordy but interesting nevertheless.

    •In a 1995-1996 study conducted in the 50 States and the District of Columbia, nearly 25% of women and 7.6% of men were raped and/or physically assaulted by a current or former spouse, cohabiting partner, or dating partner/acquaintance at some time in their lifetime (based on survey of 16,000 participants, equally male and female).

    Patricia Tjaden & Nancy Thoennes, U.S. Dep't of Just., NCJ 181867, Extent, Nature, and Consequences of Intimate Partner Violence, at iii (2000), available at http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/nij/pubs-sum/181867.htm

    •Approximately 1.3 million women and 835,000 men are physically assaulted by an intimate partner annually in the United States.

    Patricia Tjaden & Nancy Thoennes, U.S. Dep't of Just., NCJ 183781, Full Report of the Prevalence, Incidence, and Consequences of Intimate Partner Violence Against Women: Findings from the National Violence Against Women Survey, at iv (2000), available at http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/nij/pubs-sum/183781.htm


    •Intimate partner violence made up 20% of all nonfatal violent crime experienced by women in 2001.

    Callie Marie Rennison, U.S. Dep't of Just., NCJ 197838, Bureau of Justice Statistics Crime Data Brief: Intimate Partner Violence, 1993-2001, at 1 (2003), available at http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/pub/pdf/ipv01.pdf


    •Intimate partners committed 3% of the nonfatal violence against men.

    Callie Marie Rennison, U.S. Dep't of Just., NCJ 197838, Bureau of Justice Statistics Crime Data Brief: Intimate Partner Violence, 1993-2001, at 1 (2003), available at http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/pub/pdf/ipv01.pdf


    •In 2000, 1,247 women and 440 men were killed by an intimate partner. In recent years, an intimate partner killed approximately 33% of female murder victims and 4% of male murder victims.

    Callie Marie Rennison, U.S. Dep't of Just., NCJ 197838, Bureau of Justice Statistics Crime Data Brief: Intimate Partner Violence, 1993-2001, at 1 (2003), available at http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/pub/pdf/ipv01.pdf


    •Access to firearms yields a more than five-fold increase in risk of intimate partner homicide when considering other factors of abuse, according to a recent study, suggesting that abusers who possess guns tend to inflict the most severe abuse on their partners.

    Jacquelyn C. Campbell et al., Risk Factors For Femicide in Abusive Relationships: Results From A Multi-Site Case Control Study, 93 Am. J. of Public Health 1089, 1092 (2003), abstract available at http://www.ajph.org/cgi/content/abstract/93/7/1089


    •Of females killed with a firearm, almost two-thirds were killed by their intimate partners. The number of females shot and killed by their husband or intimate partner was more than three times higher than the total number murdered by male strangers using all weapons combined in single victim/single offender incidents in 2002.

    The Violence Pol'y Ctr., When Men Murder Women: An Analysis of 2002 Homicide Data: Females Murdered by Males in Single Victim/Single Offender Incidents, at 7 (2004), available at http://www.vpc.org/studies/wmmw2004.pdf


    According to the U.S. Department of Justice, between 1998 and 2002:

    •Of the almost 3.5 million violent crimes committed against family members, 49% of these were crimes against spouses.
    •84% of spouse abuse victims were females, and 86% of victims of dating partner abuse at were female.
    •Males were 83% of spouse murderers and 75% of dating partner murderers
    •50% of offenders in state prison for spousal abuse had killed their victims. Wives were more likely than husbands to be killed by their spouses: wives were about half of all spouses in the population in 2002, but 81% of all persons killed by their spouse.

    Matthew R. Durose et al., U.S. Dep't of Just., NCJ 207846, Bureau of Justice Statistics, Family Violence Statistics: Including Statistics on Strangers and Acquaintances, at 31-32 (2005), available at http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/pub/pdf/fvs.pdf


    Stalking according to the Stalking Resource Center:

    •1,006,970 women and 370,990 men are stalked annually in the United States.
    •1 in 12 women and 1 in 45 men will be stalked in their lifetime.
    •77% of female and 64% of male victims know their stalker.
    •87% of stalkers are men.
    •59% of female victims and 30% of male victims are stalked by an intimate partner.
    •81% of women stalked by a current or former intimate partner are also physically assaulted by that partner.
    •31% of women stalked by a current or former intimate partner are also sexually assaulted by that partner.
    •The average duration of stalking is 1.8 years.
    •If stalking involves intimate partners, the average duration of stalking increases to 2.2 years.
    •61% of stalkers made unwanted phone calls; 33% sent or left unwanted letters or items; 29% vandalized property; and 9% killed or threatened to kill a family pet.
    •28% of female victims and 10% of male victims obtained a protective order. 69% of female victims and 81% of male victims had the protection order violated.

    Stalking Resource Ctr., The Nat'l Ctr. for Victims of Crime, Stalking Fact Sheet, http://www.ncvc.org/src/Main.aspx (citing Patricia Tjaden & Nancy Thoennes, U.S. Dep't of Justice, NCJ 169592, Stalking in America: Findings from the National Violence Against Women Survey (1998)


    In a study done between 1994 and 1998 in ten U.S. cities (Baltimore, Houston, Texas, Kansas City (KS), Kansas City (MO), Los Angeles, New York, Portland, Oregon, Seattle, Washington, St. Petersburg/Tampa, and Wichita:

    •76% of femicide victims had been stalked by the person who killed them.
    •67% had been physically abused by their intimate partner.
    •89% of femicide victims who had been physically abused had also been stalked in the 12 months before the murder.
    •79% of abused femicide victims reported stalking during the same period that they reported abuse.
    •85% of attempted femicide cases involved at least one episode of stalking within 12 months prior to the attempted femicide.
    •54% of femicide victims reported stalking to police before they were killed by their stalkers.

    Stalking Resource Ctr., The Nat'l Ctr. for Victims of Crime, Stalking Fact Sheet, http://www.ncvc.org/src/main.aspx?db...er_Femicide122 (citing Judith McFarlane et al., 3 Homicide Studies 300-316 (1999)

    Sexual Assault According to the National Violence Against Women Survey:

    •Women are more likely to be victims of sexual violence than men: 78% of the victims of rape and sexual assault are women and 22% are men.
    •Most perpetrators of sexual violence are men. Among acts of sexual violence committed against women since the age of 18, 100% of rapes, 92% of physical assaults, and 97% of stalking acts were perpetrated by men. Sexual violence against men is also mainly male violence: 70% of rapes, 86% of physical assaults, and 65% of stalking acts were perpetrated by men.
    •In 8 out of 10 rape cases, the victim knows the perpetrator. Of people who report sexual violence, 64% of women and 16% of men were raped, physically assaulted, or stalked by an intimate partner. This includes a current or former spouse, cohabitating partner, boyfriend/girlfriend, or date.

    Patricia Tjaden & Nancy Thoennes, U.S. Dep't of Just., NCJ 183781, Full Report of the Prevalence, Incidence, and Consequences of Intimate Partner Violence Against Women: Findings from the National Violence Against Women Survey, at iv (2000), available at http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/nij/pubs-sum/183781.htm

    •Another national survey found that 34% of women were victims of sexual coercion by a husband or intimate partner in their lifetime.

    Kathleen C. Basile, Prevalence of Wife Rape and Other Intimate Partner Sexual Coercion in a Nationally Representative Sample of Women, 17 Violence and Victims 511 (2002).


    Same-Sex Violence Domestic violence occurs within same-sex relationships as it does in heterosexual relationships. The acronym LGBT is often used and stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender.

    •11% of lesbians reported violence by their female partner and 15% of gay men who had lived with a male partner reported being victimized by a male partner.

    Patricia Tjaden, Symposium on Integrating Responses to Domestic Violence: Extent and Nature of Intimate Partner Violence as measured by the National Violence Against Women Survey, 47 Loy. L. Rev. 41, 54 (2003).


    •Of the LGBT victims who sought services from the New York City Gay and Lesbian Anti-Violence Project, 36% of clients in 2003 and 38% of clients in 2004 filed police reports regarding intimate partner violence.

    Diane Dolan-Soto & Sara Kaplan, New York Lesbian, Gay, Transgender and Bisexual Domestic Violence Report, at 6 (2005), available at http://www.avp.org/storage/documents..._DV_Report.pdf


    •Eighty-eight percent of victims in 2003 and 91 percent of victims in 2004 reported experiencing prior incidents of abuse, with the majority (45 percent and 47 percent, respectively) reporting having experienced more than 10 prior incidents.

    Diane Dolan-Soto & Sara Kaplan, New York Lesbian, Gay, Transgender and Bisexual Domestic Violence Report, at 5 (2005), available athttp://www.avp.org/storage/documents/Reports/2005_AVP_DV_Report.pdf


    •One survey found that same-sex cohabitants reported significantly more intimate partner violence than did opposite-sex cohabitants. Among women, 39.2% of the same-sex cohabitants and 21.7 of the opposite- sex cohabitants reported being raped, physically assaulted, and/or stalked by a marital/cohabiting partner at some time in their lifetime.

    Patricia Tjaden & Nancy Thoennes, U.S. Dep't of Just., NCJ 181867, Extent, Nature, and Consequences of Intimate Partner Violence: Findings from the National Violence Against Women Survey, at 30 (2000), available at www.ojp.usdoj.gov/nij/pubs-sum/181867.htm


    •15.4% of same-sex cohabiting men reported being raped, physically assaulted and/or stalked by a male partner, but 10.8% reported such violence by a female partner.

    Patricia Tjaden & Nancy Thoennes, U.S. Dep't of Just., NCJ 181867, Extent, Nature, and Consequences of Intimate Partner Violence: Findings from the National Violence Against Women Survey, at 30 (2000), available at www.ojp.usdoj.gov/nij/pubs-sum/181867.htm


    According to the National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs:

    •6,523 incidence of lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender violence were recorded in eleven distinct cities and regions across the USA and Toronto, Ontario. 44% of the victims were men and 36% were women. This represented a 13% increase over the 5718 cases reported in 2002 by the same agencies and includes six reported deaths in the context of actual or suspected LGBT violence. Arizona reported one death and New York City reported five deaths.
    •4,964 or about 79% of the new incidents were reported in Los Angeles. The number of LGBT incidents in other cities and states include Boston (290), New York City (501), San Francisco (388), Colorado (139) , Chicago (65), Columbus, Ohio (46) , Pennsylvania (19) , Burlington, Vermont (21), Tuscon (64).
    •5,374 (82%) of the victims of domestic violence reported to the National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs identified themselves as gay; 575 (9%) were cases in which the victim declined to specify a sexual orientation or it was not recorded; 263 (4%) identified as bisexual; and 44 (0.6 %) were not sure or questioned their sexual orientation.

    •In a 1995-1996 study conducted in the 50 States and the District of Columbia, nearly 25% of women and 7.6% of men were raped and/or physically assaulted by a current or former spouse, cohabiting partner, or dating partner/acquaintance at some time in their lifetime (based on survey of 16,000 participants, equally male and female).

    Patricia Tjaden & Nancy Thoennes, U.S. Dep't of Just., NCJ 181867, Extent, Nature, and Consequences of Intimate Partner Violence, at iii (2000), available at http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/nij/pubs-sum/181867.htm


    •Approximately 1.3 million women and 835,000 men are physically assaulted by an intimate partner annually in the United States.

    Patricia Tjaden & Nancy Thoennes, U.S. Dep't of Just., NCJ 183781, Full Report of the Prevalence, Incidence, and Consequences of Intimate Partner Violence Against Women: Findings from the National Violence Against Women Survey, at iv (2000), available at http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/nij/pubs-sum/183781.htm


    •Intimate partner violence made up 20% of all nonfatal violent crime experienced by women in 2001.

    Callie Marie Rennison, U.S. Dep't of Just., NCJ 197838, Bureau of Justice Statistics Crime Data Brief: Intimate Partner Violence, 1993-2001, at 1 (2003), available at http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/pub/pdf/ipv01.pdf


    •Intimate partners committed 3% of the nonfatal violence against men.

    Callie Marie Rennison, U.S. Dep't of Just., NCJ 197838, Bureau of Justice Statistics Crime Data Brief: Intimate Partner Violence, 1993-2001, at 1 (2003), available at http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/pub/pdf/ipv01.pdf

    •In 2000, 1,247 women and 440 men were killed by an intimate partner. In recent years, an intimate partner killed approximately 33% of female murder victims and 4% of male murder victims.

    Callie Marie Rennison, U.S. Dep't of Just., NCJ 197838, Bureau of Justice Statistics Crime Data Brief: Intimate Partner Violence, 1993-2001, at 1 (2003), available at http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/pub/pdf/ipv01.pdf

    Same-Sex Violence Domestic violence occurs within same-sex relationships as it does in heterosexual relationships. The acronym LGBT is often used and stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender.

    •11% of lesbians reported violence by their female partner and 15% of gay men who had lived with a male partner reported being victimized by a male partner.

    Patricia Tjaden, Symposium on Integrating Responses to Domestic Violence: Extent and Nature of Intimate Partner Violence as measured by the National Violence Against Women Survey, 47 Loy. L. Rev. 41, 54 (2003).

    •Of the LGBT victims who sought services from the New York City Gay and Lesbian Anti-Violence Project, 36% of clients in 2003 and 38% of clients in 2004 filed police reports regarding intimate partner violence.

    Diane Dolan-Soto & Sara Kaplan, New York Lesbian, Gay, Transgender and Bisexual Domestic Violence Report, at 6 (2005), available at
    [url]http://www.avp.org/storage/documents/Reports/2005_AVP_DV_Report.pdf[/url
    ]

    •Eighty-eight percent of victims in 2003 and 91 percent of victims in 2004 reported experiencing prior incidents of abuse, with the majority (45 percent and 47 percent, respectively) reporting having experienced more than 10 prior incidents.

    Diane Dolan-Soto & Sara Kaplan, New York Lesbian, Gay, Transgender and Bisexual Domestic Violence Report, at 5 (2005), available athttp://www.avp.org/storage/documents/Reports/2005_AVP_DV_Report.pdf

    •One survey found that same-sex cohabitants reported significantly more intimate partner violence than did opposite-sex cohabitants. Among women, 39.2% of the same-sex cohabitants and 21.7 of the opposite- sex cohabitants reported being raped, physically assaulted, and/or stalked by a marital/cohabiting partner at some time in their lifetime.

    Patricia Tjaden & Nancy Thoennes, U.S. Dep't of Just., NCJ 181867, Extent, Nature, and Consequences of Intimate Partner Violence: Findings from the National Violence Against Women Survey, at 30 (2000), available at www.ojp.usdoj.gov/nij/pubs-sum/181867.htm


    •15.4% of same-sex cohabiting men reported being raped, physically assaulted and/or stalked by a male partner, but 10.8% reported such violence by a female partner.

    Patricia Tjaden & Nancy Thoennes, U.S. Dep't of Just., NCJ 181867, Extent, Nature, and Consequences of Intimate Partner Violence: Findings from the National Violence Against Women Survey, at 30 (2000), available at www.ojp.usdoj.gov/nij/pubs-sum/181867.htm


    Physical Injury and Medical Treatment

    •The U.S. Department of Justice reported that 37% of all women who sought care in hospital emergency rooms for violence-related injuries were injured by a current or former spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend.

    Michael R. Rand, U.S. Dep't of Just., NCJ 156921, Violence-Related Injuries Treated in Hospital Emergency Departments, (1997) available at www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/pub/ascii/vrithed.txt


    •Women are significantly more likely than men to be injured during an assault: 31.5% of female rape victims, compared with 16.1% of male rape victims, reported being injured during their most recent rape, and 39-42% percent of female physical assault victims, compared with 20-25% of male physical assault victims, reported being injured during their most recent physical assault.

    •35.6% of the women injured during their most recent rape and 30.2% of the women injured during their most recent physical assault received medical treatment. Approximately 21.5% of male victims of intimate partner physical assaults that resulted in an injury sought medical treatment.

    Patricia Tjaden & Nancy Thoennes, U.S. Dep't of Just., NCJ 183781, Full Report of the Prevalence, Incidence, and Consequences of Intimate Partner Violence Against Women: Findings from the National Violence Against Women Survey, at iv (2000) available at http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/nij/pubs-sum/183781.htm ; Patricia Tjaden & Nancy Thoennes, U.S. Dep't of Just., NCJ 181867, Extent, Nature, and Consequences of Intimate Partner Violence: Findings from the National Violence Against Women Survey, at iv (2000), available at www.ojp.usdoj.gov/nij/pubs-sum/181867.htm


    •4% of men and 5% of women reported receiving serious injuries (knife wounds, internal injuries, broken bones, or loss of consciousness).

    Callie Marie Rennison & Sarah Welchans, U.S. Dep't of Just., NCJ 178247, Bureau of Justice Statistics Special Report: Intimate Partner Violence at 6 (2000), available at http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/pub/pdf/ipv.pdf
    Rest in my arms precious child; cradled and warm. You are safe. The war is over.

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