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Thread: Anorexia and eating disorders

  1. #1
    Unregistered Guest

    Anorexia and eating disorders

    I suffer from anorexia, I finally told my doctor how bad it was yesturday. She said she could possibly help me but wasn't sure. My partner gave me the ultimatum to either eat or she was leaving. I tried telling her it wasn't that easy and it had nothing to do with how I felt about her or our relationship. I tried to explain to her it was a disease that is about control and really didn't have anything to do with food at all, it was just a symptom. She told me I had until this morning to tell her wether I was going to change my ways or she was leaving. I love her with all my heart and don't want her to leave. I told her it was her choice whether she left or not not mine. I am trying to deal with this in my own way just like I was there for her all the years she was drinking and was in prison. I never left her side. I don't expect her to start drinking again or it will be over and she knows that and agrees to that. I told her I would try my best to do better but it was a long road and it was a hard one. She said if I wasn't going to eat then she didn't want me to exercise, I told her that wasn't going to happen either but that I would cut back on my exercising. And I have. I tried to explain the fear of eating and what I go thru when I try to eat but she thinks it is just as easy as just desiding to eat something and doing it. I don't know how to explain it to her any other way. I am at a total loss. It is very hurtful to me and to her. As along with the rest of my family. I have dropped 3 pants sizes in one week. I know logically I am out of control but I have been worse so in my head I can justify it that things aredn't that bad yet. I went to an inpaitient treatment center last year. I came home and immediately quit eating again. I don't know what it is going to take for me to get it. I just don't know what to do anymore and I don't know how to explain to my loved ones what I go thru on a daily basis. Any suggestions are welcome. Thanks

  2. #2
    Unregistered Guest

    I really need advice soon!

    I suffer from anorexia and havent eaten in days and have limited my oral intake of fluids. I have talked to my doctor and she doesn't seem concerned. I see her in 2 weeks and my goal is to lose 25 pounds before I see her again so she takes me seriously. I know that sounds extreme but I can't seem to get anyone to listen to me. I bike 17 miles everyday and only eat lettuce once a day with nothing on it. I know I an headed down a serious path but I don't know how to stop. I don't have anyone to turn to and there are no support groups or therapists here where I live. My doctor said she has had an eating disorder before but she doesn't act like it. So it is hard to trust her. I am afraid to tell anyone what I am doing becuase I am afriad they will take control away from me. I want to get it under control myself. That is why I am reaching out here is to get some ideas of what to do.

  3. #3
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    Hi there!!

    [COLOR="#800080"]I also have suffered from Anorexia since I was 12 yrs old (am now 50).....I haven't had a serious issue with it for 2 yrs. I went down to 112 lbs 2 springs ago but b4 that it had been close to 18 yrs since I had been in Anorexia mode...I guesss what helped me the most was when I passed out in school and woke up with I.V.'s and then they came in and restrained me and put a feeding tube down my nose (NOT a pleasant experience trust me)...I still have body dysmorphic disorder eeven at 129lbs and i am 5'7" thats under wt. i should weigh between 135-140 (that wont happen, I am not truly "ok" unlless I'm at like 115 but I also realize thats not good for me so its a daily effort to make sure I eat protein vegetables fruits and lots of H20!!!!! Yes I have been in therapy and I see u say u r not in an area where there r therapists, but there must be out lying towns that do..we drive an hour 1 way each monday (2 hr trip all together) so I can keep on a good path...sometimes u have to do what u need to to be healthy...only u will know when that time is right...I dont think losing that much weight to "Prove" something to your Dr. is a great idea because chances r she prob. wont care or just tell u eat more, so dont try punishing her by hurting yourself...I can tell u the health risks r huge!! heaart issues , kidney failure heart attack and the list goes on.....we all can find help if we really want it bad enough and we take the time to find the right people and support places...but u have to want that...u said it yourself u dont want the "control" taken away from u, however, if u pass out somewhere your control will be taken from u.......things to think about...I hope u find the help u need to begin retraining your brain and have a long good life!!! glad u came by here for support its a great place but doesnt take the place of Drs, or theapists...please call around for groups, therapists maybe not right in your town but maybe u might have to travel alitle bit but thats doable!!! good luck to u!!!!

  4. The following user says thank you to johnsgirl for this useful post:

    quiltfairy (09-01-2012)

  5. #4
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    food issues are extremely difficult to overcome. i struggle mildly with them but my desire to build muscle overtakes my desire to control my food intake. building muscle helps me to feel stronger when actually, i'm wanting emotional strength. in many ways it's also a control issue, an effort to keep safe. i reached the point of doing four hours of exercise, strength training per day and then caused injury. during the periods where i was working out, then was a sense of calm, one i could not find elsewhere. so, in many ways i can relate.

    having someone pressuring me would only make matters worse. that would really make me question my strength and it could become a power issue in itself. i know others are well meaning but these ultimatums can really backfire. that said, it might be just too painful for your partner to stand by while you struggle, witnessing your rapid weight loss.

    the choice is up to you, no one else. finding your power in another area might be of some help. if there is something you enjoy creatively, a sport, music, if you could put just a bit of energy there, you might see some reward. we often forget we have talents, and we all do, when we are so enmeshed in our issues/coping strategies. keep us updated, i'd like to hear what's going on with you.

  6. #5
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    Hi

    1st welcome!!! the 1st step is admitting u have a problem and searching for help, both of which you have done or are doing (good for u!!)..we also have Anorexia for over 30 yrs but havent had a "bad" time with it in 2 yrs...yes u r right it is about control def.!! we r sorry your partner doesn't provide more support but we try and look at it through the other persons eyes....we have also helped out a dear friend about 15 yrs ago with a meth addiction and it was not fun..he pushed our buttons and he made it diff. until he truly wanted sobriety..but we have to admit we supported him alot but we had to ask him to leave our house because his not trying (in the beginning) an just doing his thing was taking us down in ouir own recvery from DID (alot of abuse)...we still have diff. eating but we r in a relationship a real good one and we dont want to jepordize it in anyway!! so we eat 1 good meal aday and have a piece of fruit at brkfst and granola cereal b4 bed...its a compromise..we havent gained or laost weight which is ok...people with addictions whethter food issues or drugs or alcohol etc...all really just want control and to use their drug of choice (food included) as a way of "hiding" behind the real reasons they do wha they do....we hope u find the right Dr. or therapist or inpatient unit that really fits you and u get back on the road of recovery..we didnt mean to be too harsh but we have walked in your shoes and still have days where its really hard but we see what we have and we r not willing to lose that!!! tc keep us all at the fort posted and join us theres great support here a place to vent talk to ppl who know what u r going through...!!!!! Glad u came by

  7. #6
    Unregistered Guest

    Support

    I think you need to find someone who can support you in these tough decisions. I know that it may be difficult but at the point you feel the most in control is often when you have the least control over the disease.

  8. #7
    Unregistered Guest

    I'm in treatment but don't like it... :(

    I'm 16 and was diagnosed with anorexia a few days ago. I dropped 15 pounds in a few weeks and I'm 108 currently. My new adolescent medicine doctor wants me to gain weight, and says that if I don't I'll have to go to an inpatient program! Also, If I don't eat my three meals, I have to be fed through a feeding tube in the emergency room. I want to get better, but I'm afraid if I gain weight back I'll feel even more self conscious and think lower of myself then I already do. I have no idea what to do!!

  9. #8
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    Even if you go inpatient there are benefits to getting better. Your self image could improve thus making eating more enjoyable instead of a fear or a disgust. There are perks to eating healthy and that's a lean and well defined body along with good health. Plus good nutrition can make you feel more energized. Going in hospital is important if you need intensive therapy and care. You may not like it, but try thinking of it as a step in your treatment plan to getting better and living a long healthy life.
    Tina

  10. #9
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    hi

    we r alot lder than u WAY older (50) but we also have dealt with anorexia in our life and have been in your shoes.....there r alot of great support groups/sites for anorexia/eating disorders!! check our library here for articles etc. only u can change u...good luck

  11. #10
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    I could have written your post many years ago. I am also a lot older than you, but I relate. I was put into hospital for a little less than two years and I credit my life to that time. I think I wouldn't still be alive if I hadn't been made to go. Of course it was scary and uncomfortable, daily weigh in. No bathroom privacy, monitored meals. But gradually I got better and, funny thing, the more I got better the more I wanted to get better. Turns out I thought I had so much control of the eating disorder but actually it had control of me.
    I think back to that time and realize it could have been a much shorter and easier road if I hadn't resisted everything so much. But I was stubborn and strong willed, so my recovery took a lot of time.
    I hope your road will be smoother and shorter. Please know that you deserve all good things... Including food.

    Sending peace... Chrissy

  12. The following user says thank you to Chrissy76 for this useful post:

    the we of me (10-20-2012)

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