Disability approved, mixed feelings about it.

  1. weepingwillow
    My disability claim was approved, which is very validating. On the other hand it's proof that I am really disabled. idk, kind of preferred thinking I was lazy instead because that meant I was fully capable of taking care of myself. This is kind of a blow to my self esteem.

    So I'm feeling relieved and validated, but worthless all at the same time. I just don't know what to do with this.
  2. Iris
    Funny I never looked at it that way before Willow. Lazy for me makes me feel bad like I am an unworthy hopeless human being. Disabled makes me feel like I am just unable to do it right now and that things will get better.

    Is your disability permanent ?
    I guess I have hope, and hope you can find hope too. That is a lot of hope.

    for you
  3. LightningStar
    Just wanted to say I relate to how your feeling Willow. Your not alone. Hope you adjust to your new(er) reality, however it may come about. Sits with you if you'd like.

  4. weepingwillow

    It's based primarily on chronic mental health issues, but I also have some physical issues that weighed in. If I get medication sorted out and start slowly I might be able to go back to work. If I can't I'm not likely to be disqualified. I'm not sure that makes sense.
  5. KJConfused
    Im glad to hear that you have been approved!! Ik now the money wont change your life drastically but i also know how much comfort it gave me to not feel like a failure anymore because i could at least pay SOME bills now.

    Also, i can relate to your feelings about it being bittersweet...it is for me too. Ive now have had 3 reviews and passed them all with bascially no work from me...from what my attorney told me this is pretty unusual and must mean at this point they consider me permanently disabled. I have a lot of issues with this, on both sides of the fence.

    It can be very difficult to know you are disabled, because it is admitting that you are less in some way...even if that reason why is valid and understandable, it doesnt change this underlying social feeling.

    I struggle with this almost every day honestly... if i wanted to lay in the hospital bed and take 30 drugs daily for the rest of my life the health industry, govt, and my insurance would probably all say it is fine but for me it just makes me feel like a terrible person. After years of fighting, it is nice to win the battle and have that validation though!!
  6. Iris
    Over here we can work or do schooling part time on disability. We can earn just under 10,000 and get free schooling.

    And yes your post made sense Willow.
    I think with things like PTSD they do not go away but do improve and go into a sorta remission period unless you get re triggered. Or that is how it seems to me.

    to all
  7. Phosphorror
    I'm happy to hear you're getting support! That's always important. I have a hard time thinking about this issue lately because it's so threatening to me, but I can completely relate to you. At the age of 23, the gorvernment approved me for SSI - thus labeling me as permanently disabled. I hear it is much more difficult to be approved if you're as young as me, so it really hit home that I am very ill. That was validating, but also invalidating in the sense that I wonder if I'll ever be able to handle work or regular life responsibilities. Kind of a bummer to think about all this.
  8. weepingwillow
    back Iris I can work part time as long as I work under a certain amount of hours. Being approved may actually make going back to school an option for me, so I do plan on looking into that once all the paperwork is settled.

    That's very much it Phosphorror and KJconfused. I just had an interview for ssi, which I am probably eligible for temporarily until my ssd payments start. Like Phosphorror said, it hits home how ill I am really.

    everyone. It's nice to talk to people that get this. I think this is something just about everyone goes through when they get approved.
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