Disabilities and Independence

  1. familyof23
    So not only am I mentally disabled, I also have a few other health issues. And well they make life really difficult to manage at times. I feel like I should be being way more independent than I am and I WANT to be more independent than I am. I also feel as though my family and friends judge me as far as what I can and can't do. And sometimes that just gets....really frustrating.
    On one hand I start thinking that I am totally fine to be doing certain thing, while on the other hand when I try to do said things I wind up paying for them in the long (or short) run. I know that there are just some things that I can't do. As much as I hate it, and wish that it was otherwise, I know I can't. Or that there are somethings I can only do to a certain point or for so long...
    Like bending over. I cant do that for more than a second or two. So sitting on the bed and picking things up off the floor...yeah. that isn't something I can do very much. I have Tachycardia and bending over like that effects both my heart rate and my breathing. It sucks, trust me I know. But would you rather me ask for help or try to do it and wind up passing out or worse in the ER? I cannot stand for long periods of time. I'm sorry. i know my family would love it if I could spend all day cleaning my house, or walk around the mall with them for 4 or 5 hours....but this body just isn't built for that s**t anymore. I don't like it anymore than they do. Really I don't.
    Well maybe I should explain a little bit....
    I have a form of Tachycardia, and we THINK (not sure still doing testing) its' an SVT. For those of you who haven't heard the word, Tachycardia is when your heart rate or heart start beating too fast. Usually it means your heart is beating more than 130 beats per minute. It's not super serious, but it's serious enough if that makes any sense. To be clearer, when my heart hits 145 bpm, I start to pass out. So yeah, it's not the greatest thing in the world. Because of that, it means I have to be fairly careful. I can't run, or wrestle or rough house with my dog. (okay, I can get away with rough housing with her for about 5-10 minutes, but I'm not supposed to ) I have to go REALLY slowly if I take the stairs. I can't walk very fast. I can't really do sports. Basically if it typically gets your heart beating hard or fast, I can't do it since mine beats hard and fast when I'm sitting on my @$$. I can't lift heavy things, okay the list goes on and on.
    I have asthma. (Basically my lungs are crap and don't like to work properly)so that pretty much goes along with the tachycardia as far as what I can and can't do.So that sucks.
    I have a specified weight limit due to many bone and muscle conditions. So that about sums it up

    Anyways all these things make it really hard to be independent. And I feel so like crap about it...ugh...
  2. weepingwillow
    for you. Can relate to people expecting you to do more than you can and then being upset when you can't. Especially when it's something like your heart problem, or anything else that's not visually apparent to people. It's hard for me to keep from pushing myself too hard to keep other people happy.
  3. Manya
    i relate too. find it helpful to come up with practical solutions though, so that i dont have to do things i cant do. like picking things up from the floor - theres no need to do it if nobody puts anything on the floor in the first place, you know, so maybe kids (or husband, or whoever it is) can learn to put things where they belong, instead of throwing them around, for you to pick up, with your heart issues? im not being judgmental, just sharing what helps me. idk, i used to have a bar stool in the kitchen, to sit on when i do dishes. always do laundry manually, with a washboard, cuz i dont have washer/dryer in my apartment, and using laundromats is just beyond my abilities, with my bipolar, just cant do that, no way. used to have it picked up and delivered done and folded, when i was richer, now doing it manually. am ordering my groceries (and everything else for that matter) online only, cuz supermarkets are hard for me too, its totally worth the delivery fee and tip, to be able to do my shopping online and have it delivered to my door. just various things to work around my impairments.

    for you
  4. Phosphorror
    I have postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome, so your post really hit home for me. I can't do most jobs that don't require a degree, and the degree I do have doesn't qualify me for much. But at the same time, it doesn't LOOK like I should be unable to do these jobs. Even when I have symptoms, people have a hard time seeing that, so they think I'm making things up or exaggerating. That is until I have a syncope episode. But that's messed up - I shouldn't have to work myself until I literally pass out in order to tell people, hey, I can't go on long walks like you can, hey I can't stand on my feet for four hours like you can. Anyway, I can understand - it is hard.
  5. familyof23
    thank you for all your replies. Really helps me feel like I'm not alone and that I am not a total lame butt or lazy person because i can't do these things...
  6. weepingwillow
    I hate feeling that way, and then people I care about reinforce it without even realizing how insensitive they're being. Just an offhanded comment like "Wow (x person) sleeps for 10 hours a night, how ridiculous." Well it's not, I need that extra sleep to function.
Results 1 to 6 of 6