Research paper causing triggers

  1. Solitary
    Solitary
    So I am doing a research paper currently for my english class and it has become just very triggering and scary because not only am I giving facts and such but putting some of my own life history into it. I am doing my topic on SI. It is triggering for me because I deal with it everyday and every moment of my life. I just had a teacher tell me that going into school isnt trying. I wanted to counter with I get up and come in everyday for school and that is my trying. I didnt but i digress. ANy suggestions on how to not be triggered or well cause less triggers? I just I am making good points but i just i feel like i am wanting to do it more.

    So yeah any suggestions or help would be awesome.
  2. Catalyst4Change
    Catalyst4Change
    I've been in similar situations. This is a tough one. For me, I guess I sort of figured out exactly where my boundaries lay & drew this imaginary hard line in the sand. For instance, if I were triggered by spiders (I am) and was writing a paper on bugs, knowing that I could type the word once in the text without being too triggered, but couldn't handle the word arachnid, look at any pictures or discuss eight legs, I would build a mental barrier to the really triggering things & allow the less triggering things through.

    Wow, serious run on sentence! I hope this makes some sense. Also, having a plan to stop intrusive thoughts such as, if images of spiders begin to pop up in my head unwelcome, I will immediately take a 15 minute break to listen to music & watch baby animal videos.

    I understand SI is serious, I just couldn't think of a good example without getting triggered myself. For you, a safety plan might look something like Facetiming with so & so who's good at calming you when triggered or going for a run to wear yourself out.

    I wish you continued courage & strength. It takes both to take on a project that hits so close to the heart.
  3. Manya
    Manya
    i write stuff for fort once in a while - its not school cuz nobody is forcing me to do it or setting any deadlines or such - but its kinda similar in a way cuz some of it is general info while some of it is obviously personal, and of course it can be hard sometimes, to talk of hard stuff. idk if my approach would work for a school project (just cuz of time constraints), but it really helps me to research the topic im writing about. i dont mean googling general info stuff, i mean really researching - stats, studies, different views people have on it, different perspectives, etc. widest range of input possible. this helps me see the scope of my project, how deep i need to go with it (or with each part of it), and why exactly am i going there, whats the purpose of it. this keeps me grounded and focused on the project rather than on personal stuff that i might not even end up including there, you know. idk, just my two cents. for you
  4. Solitary
    Solitary
    Catalyst4Change- thank you so much and it does make sense. I have been having to take breaks and watch something happy or listen to music. I have actually had some funny things playing in the background as I work as well.

    Manya- It is a good idea its just with this paper I have had to do a lot of actual research as well as semi discuss my personal life and how it ties into my topic. I am very scared about sharing this information with my teacher because I do not want them to look at me strangely, out me or treat me strangely. It is an important topic.

    Thank you both and I am going to try the advice. to you both if allowed.
  5. Jane
    Jane
    Yep agree that researching subjects and completing papers to meet course requirements when the topic is one that I have a lot of experiential investment in has the potential to pitch myself back into a nasty past stuff. However have developed a few tricks to stop this happening. May help - hope they do.

    Get Manya's point about sorting out the purpose of the work that you need or are chooosing to complete. Find with research stuff this not only helps to keep me on track (does not take much for me to get caught up in a subject and go off brief - a disaster if I have a deadline or assignment objectives/marking criteria that I need to meet). Clarifying the my purpose of my research projects also helps me to maintain my personal safety boundaries eg preparing and writing something for say Fort (a place when my true identity is unknown) gives me the freedom to share personal info I would not choose to share in another context eg with my programme lecturers or group of my colleagues.

    Few tips on things that work for me.

    First I do the purpose clarifying thing I have talked about above. Reading the assignment guidelines/objectives/marking criteria helps this process
    Next if I call on examples from my own experience to support my research findings/critique I depersonalise these...bit of a trick to doing this reattributation idk rather than saying that I had the experience based example I am using I will say say something like "was talking to a friend the other day who lives with DID she described aspects of her behaviour (give details) it appears to me that these fit well with Hunkermory et als (2017) theory which focuses on etc". Know the attribution of my experience to an unspecified other 'falsifie' the source of the info I am using for my critique but in my (open to challenge) opinion it does not imo invalidate it or the conclusions I am drawing from it. Most of all it protects my right to draw on my experiences while protecting my privacy...right to not reveal sensitive info about myself.

    Bit off-topic, but I use the same technique when being interviewed for jobs.For example to field common interview questions like "what is your greatest disappointment?'which if unprepared for can prompt me to spill my gutz to trigger recollections of the grim stuff that has peppered my life. Use this practised ahead approach eg in the 'greatest disappointment' would answer something like 'my greatest disappointment is generally my latest one. this morning found aphids had munched holes in the buds on my rose bush...disappointed?...could have cried'. The trick I find is to respond with something safe and light that does not emotionally derail or involve me sharing info I preferred not to.
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