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  • Unregistered's Avatar
    01-26-2018, 09:14 AM
    Unregistered started a thread Abusers Getting Help in Guests
    I would like to hear others experience with their abusers getting help. My husband of 8 years was arrested for domestic violence almost 2 years ago. Since then he has quit drinking and started going to anger management classes. He's been sober for over a year and going to the classes for almost that long as well now. I see an improvement in his communication, but I still find myself tiptoeing around subjects and being afraid when he's angry. Has anyone ever experienced this? Does it get better? Do they get better?
    2 replies | 134 view(s)
  • Unregistered's Avatar
    02-11-2018, 08:48 AM
    Unregistered started a thread Discovered recently - how to move on? in Guests
    I had a bad sexual experience last year that I now understand as assault. A relatively new date came over for a date, but started having sex without a condom, which was against every negotiated and implied boundary we had. I should have spoken up, but I froze and didn't do anything, just waited for it to be over. Afterwards I didn't feel safe with that person and pretty much avoided them, although I couldn't really pinpoint why. I didn't think much about it; the only thing I took away from that event was a resolve to be better about speaking up and enforcing my sexual boundaries. I was so far in denial/repression that I didn't even take care of my health until weeks later, when prompted by a different event. Ever since that event, I'd been withdrawing sexually until I hated anyone touching me. Recently I found out that the person knew it was wrong, and did it anyways. This broke me. All the memories came back and I could interpret it for what it was, assault. Having a language to describe it helped. Knowing that it was their fault, not mine, helped. I thought I had recovered. But I get triggered easily, even just in conversation, and it's affecting my current relationship. I'm going to see a therapist next week. I can work hard to be grounded and try to move past it, but I don't know how to make it stick. How do I heal? What do I need to recover and stay that way, and feel safe?
    1 replies | 62 view(s)
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