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  • Manya's Avatar
    Today, 03:01 AM
    i had a similar convo - not with father, but yeah. what i learned from it is that i gotta first figure out what exactly are we doing here. why is he asking me this question, and why am i answering it. does he genuinely wanna know why i have ptsd? is he doubting my diagnosis? whats going on, you know? cuz if he believes i have ptsd - the question comes across pretty insensitive. obviously it musta been a darn serious trauma, if it resulted in mental illness, so a little more tact would be more appropriate imho. and why am i asnwering him, do i wanna share my stuff with him cuz he loves me and cares and wants to know in order to support me? or do i wanna win the argument, prove him wrong, prove myself right, defend my character, show him that i indeed have valid reasons to have ptsd, etc? cuz if thats the case - it might work better to have my pdoc talk to him and confirm the diagnosis, without going into details. if he doubts i have ptsd - let him hear it from my doc, you know, that would be a lot more convincing than sharing tmi with him in the heat of an argument. i mean, if i were having a urinary tract infection and he was doubting it - i wouldnt be showing him my infected urethra, to prove the point...
    2 replies | 21 view(s)
  • Jane's Avatar
    Yesterday, 01:44 AM
    Hi Zoe - glad you have stepped in - that you have the support of your dad and are starting to process and heal from the not ok stuff you have lived through. Hear you about answering your dad's pretty natural curiosity - doing this in a way that does not alarm him or cause you to reveal stuff that you are not ready to share (in fact may never be ready to share). Just wondering about providing him with a written article on ptsd - we have one in our library that may be worth you having a look at - deciding if it will help - here is a link - :rs:rs
    2 replies | 21 view(s)
  • Unregistered's Avatar
    09-17-2018, 09:47 PM
    Unregistered started a thread How do I explain my ptsd to my dad? in Public Forum
    my name is ZoŽ and I'm 20 years old... I have been sexually assaulted multiple times. It led me down a bad path and I'm now back home with my parents. I go to psychiatric doctors but no therapy yet. My dad has no idea about my past and has asked me "well what do you have ptsd or anxiety for?" And he kinda acts like I make things up in my head. He loves me and cares about me but he doesn't understand and I guess can't because he doesn't know why I've changed so much and why im like this now. Can anyone give me some advice on how to tell him but without making him angry or ask too many questions that I may be uncomfortable answering..thank you if anyone reads this.
    2 replies | 21 view(s)
  • Hopingtoheal's Avatar
    09-16-2018, 09:17 PM
    However you decide to move forward is your choice. YOURS. I am sorry for your anguish and my heart goes out to you. I personally have never violated someoneís right to choose over their repeated protestsónot even, like making them drink tea when they donít want itó and Iím guessing you havenít either. Just saying.
    91 replies | 29805 view(s)
  • Hopingtoheal's Avatar
    09-16-2018, 09:02 PM
    My experience is that my childrenís father had a lot more time and attention to devote to soiling relationships than I did. I had to remove myself from his manipulations and go about building connections and memories with my kids, and sort of let them have the parent they have in him. It was very hard to do, and very hard to watch them piece together what was happening, but shoot, if Iíd thought he was a decent man I wouldíve stayed married to him! My kids are now officially all adults and we have vibrant, frequent, fun and funny times together. I love the relationship we built, and even though it is colored in part by the divorce years, it is far more healthy and fulfilling than it could have been if I had stayed in that marriage. It IS a lot for kids to go through, but so would it be a lot to grow up with an intact family, thinking that I AGREED with the ugly verbal and psychological manipulations that their father used on me, and on them as they emerged from toddlerhood. I know how hard it seems, but when you can, move on to letting him do whatever bs he chooses (on his time) and just have loving time with your kids.
    2 replies | 23 view(s)
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