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  • Manya's Avatar
    Today, 05:04 AM
    :dk might wanna ask a lawyer in your country/state? laws differ from place to place, and we aren't qualified to offer legal advice :bf
    61 replies | 9754 view(s)
  • Unregistered's Avatar
    Today, 03:33 AM
    Unregistered replied to a thread Don't know if this counts as abuse in Guests
    can you get a restraining order for mental and emotional abuse as well as verbal?
    61 replies | 9754 view(s)
  • Unregistered123's Avatar
    Yesterday, 02:13 PM
    Unregistered123 replied to a thread Am I over exaggerating? in Guests
    Thank you for your reply! I'm really glad you shared your story with me, it really feels that I'm not alone with this and these questions. I tried to write all things down from the beginning to now in our relationship. The bad things clearly overrule the good ones. In fact I have got a hard time finding positive things about him. I think some part of me still love him and such, but he has treated me so bad, and did things...I can't trust him anymore. I'm not sure if I would like to actually try. Because I've tried so much. And I'm sick of it. And these things have left scars, and probably still will. We have a daughter. Even if I can't see it I bet she is affected by it. I don't want this for her. Some part of me have already decided for divorce..but it's not easy. I contacted a women's shelter for advice. To try to understand if this really is abuse at all, because it's so confusing. If I decide to divorce him. My daughter, she will be devastated, I don't know. And I'm scared for how my husband could react. Based on earlier experiences it doesn't look good. He will surely threat to take my daughter to his home country. Beg cry scream. I will really need help with that. I've got support though but I'm scared. At the same time, when I think there are other ways to live, to feel hope. It just feels right, and I feel so happy. This is hard Again , thank you for your reply
    2 replies | 32 view(s)
  • Jane's Avatar
    Yesterday, 01:06 PM
    Jane replied to a thread Am I over exaggerating? in Guests
    I am sorry you find yourself in this situation. One where your partner thinks he has a right to treat you as lesser control you, interfere with your ability to make your own choices as an adult. Up to you really - took me a while to get to the point of realising that how he was, was likely how he would stay - that yes he was capable of controlling his behaviour - (and did this when he needed to...to regain my trust. hook me back in) but experience shows me that this change was not one he was prepared to commit to...it was a short term expedient one that he used over and over. Eventually I realised I had two choices (neither of them what I would have chosen) accept him as he was...that it was my choice to stay. Or to say 'enough is enough' and plan to leave. I did the latter, was not easy to grit my teeth and accept what was wrong - that I needed to put an end to it. Helped me to ring my dv shelter the staff there assisted me to look at my options and to point me in the direction of the support that was out there for women in my situation. I also 'came clean' to my family and trusted friends - was no easy cuz like many before me I had previously covered up the fact that I was in an unhealthy relationship. Made a difference to have the support of these people...was also surprised that my previous cover-up had not really worked...seems that in my case people did notice - just did not have the confidence to bring the subject up or offer unsolicited support.. I hope what I have shared helps. :rs:rs
    2 replies | 32 view(s)
  • Unregistered123's Avatar
    Yesterday, 12:09 PM
    Unregistered123 started a thread Am I over exaggerating? in Guests
    I probably have been living with emotional abuse for over 5-6 years with my husband. It started slow and then escalated. It's not something I've really have been thinking about. But I have had really tough times for example when he totally ignores me when I do something bad. Yell in a way that really scares me, and therefore I've always tried to do what he likes. Anyways, I had a real bad breakdown from overworking, not sure how much my home situation had to do with it, cause I've never really been thinking about it before. It's the people around me who reacts or say things isn't normal. He have been aggressive yelling, saying bad things to me or about me in a scary voice, belittling me. He treats my like a child sometimes. He never does anything wrong. And I'm not sure if he's right or not. I'm so used to this I'm not sure what is normal or what, or maybe it is just me. When I was hospitalized he didn't like it. He wanted me out of there and started calling me on the phone, screaming, threatening and so on. After that I almost left him. But he cried and wanted to make amends so we gave it a shot. He really did try, I give him cred for that. It lasted for very long, although some patterns never faded away. Maybe I overlook the bad things when I see good things? He slowly started to return to his old self. Saying I couldn't buy this or that. When I bought the wrong things he would yell at me because it was a waste of money. Freezing out, not being there. He snapped at one incident, opened my box because he was looking for a thing and just threw it out, went into the closet and did the same thing. Because I said i wanted to buy the thing I couldn't find. I had to clean my box. He yelled at me that it was all a mess and I shouldn't nag at him about cleaning and focusing one the wrong things. Thinking about divorce. Suggested couple therapy in which he said we didn't have no problems, and the discussion ended with me feeling it was all my fault. The day after and some days until now he has completely changed. Gives our child more attention, says that he loves me. He wants to watch movies together and drink wine. How long will this last? What am I doing? How could I ever have thought about divorce, everything is good now right? When I thought about divorce all I could feel was relief ad hope. Now I am just confused. Suggestions?
    2 replies | 32 view(s)
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