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  • Jane's Avatar
    Today, 01:44 AM
    Hi Zoe - glad you have stepped in - that you have the support of your dad and are starting to process and heal from the not ok stuff you have lived through. Hear you about answering your dad's pretty natural curiosity - doing this in a way that does not alarm him or cause you to reveal stuff that you are not ready to share (in fact may never be ready to share). Just wondering about providing him with a written article on ptsd - we have one in our library that may be worth you having a look at - deciding if it will help - here is a link - http://www.fortrefuge.com/ptsd.html#sts=Dissociative%20subtype%20of%20PTSD :rs:rs
    1 replies | 6 view(s)
  • Unregistered's Avatar
    Yesterday, 09:47 PM
    Unregistered started a thread How do I explain my ptsd to my dad? in Public Forum
    my name is ZoŽ and I'm 20 years old... I have been sexually assaulted multiple times. It led me down a bad path and I'm now back home with my parents. I go to psychiatric doctors but no therapy yet. My dad has no idea about my past and has asked me "well what do you have ptsd or anxiety for?" And he kinda acts like I make things up in my head. He loves me and cares about me but he doesn't understand and I guess can't because he doesn't know why I've changed so much and why im like this now. Can anyone give me some advice on how to tell him but without making him angry or ask too many questions that I may be uncomfortable answering..thank you if anyone reads this.
    1 replies | 6 view(s)
  • Hopingtoheal's Avatar
    09-16-2018, 09:17 PM
    However you decide to move forward is your choice. YOURS. I am sorry for your anguish and my heart goes out to you. I personally have never violated someoneís right to choose over their repeated protestsónot even, like making them drink tea when they donít want itó and Iím guessing you havenít either. Just saying.
    91 replies | 29779 view(s)
  • Hopingtoheal's Avatar
    09-16-2018, 09:02 PM
    My experience is that my childrenís father had a lot more time and attention to devote to soiling relationships than I did. I had to remove myself from his manipulations and go about building connections and memories with my kids, and sort of let them have the parent they have in him. It was very hard to do, and very hard to watch them piece together what was happening, but shoot, if Iíd thought he was a decent man I wouldíve stayed married to him! My kids are now officially all adults and we have vibrant, frequent, fun and funny times together. I love the relationship we built, and even though it is colored in part by the divorce years, it is far more healthy and fulfilling than it could have been if I had stayed in that marriage. It IS a lot for kids to go through, but so would it be a lot to grow up with an intact family, thinking that I AGREED with the ugly verbal and psychological manipulations that their father used on me, and on them as they emerged from toddlerhood. I know how hard it seems, but when you can, move on to letting him do whatever bs he chooses (on his time) and just have loving time with your kids.
    2 replies | 21 view(s)
  • Jane's Avatar
    09-16-2018, 01:04 PM
    Jane replied to a thread Will this ever end? in Public Forum
    So sorry that you and your child are living through this situation - just seems so unfair to use a child (access etc) as you describe. Wish I had some answers...but can tell you I understand your frustration. Feel strongly that kids do not deserve to become scapegoats in adult situations - ones they have no control over...imo your kid deserve better than to hear his father blaming and criticizing you his mother. :rs
    2 replies | 21 view(s)
  • Freeatlast's Avatar
    09-16-2018, 12:28 PM
    Freeatlast replied to a thread Recovery in Public Forum
    Congrats on leaving. That was the hardest and most difficult thing for me to do. You describe the exact same emotions I went through after leaving as well. All very normal for what you have gone through. It will get better. See if you can reach out to a Domestic Violence agency near you. The one by me offers free counseling with counselors specifically trained in domestic violence. If they donít offer it, they would probably be able to refer you to someone.
    2 replies | 100 view(s)
  • Freeatlast's Avatar
    09-16-2018, 12:08 PM
    My ex has been requesting constant scheduling changes of our teenager. He has been using that to harass and manipulate me. My vacation was ruined when he turned around and booked a vacation with our child to the same place the month before I went. I have recently put my foot down and am refusing the schedule changes and it is tearing me up because he entices our child with trips and other fun stuff and then tells him, Sorry, mom wonít let you go. I feel like I will never be free at last.
    2 replies | 21 view(s)
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