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  • Unregistered's Avatar
    03-14-2018, 03:29 PM
    Unregistered started a thread Is this abuse? Helping a family member in Guests
    Hello, I feel like someone in my family is being abused and I need some affirmation and advice how/whether to proceed with helping her. In short, this 30+ year old female has 3 small kids with her husband. Her husband is a narcissist and she mainly complains that he has no repsect for her, it's his way or else, and that he constantly puts her down. But, I feel she likes the role of being take care of, in that, she does not want to get a job (even though she can), she'd rather take his attitude (abuse?) in exchange for finanacial stability that he provides. She really jst wants to stay at home and dode on her kids. As far as I know, it never gets physical. The worst part of all, and what I least undestand - is that she seldom confides in anyone or complaints to others. 95% of the time she acts or pretends all is great, treats her husband like a king to the point of being his servant - and she does so with a smile on her face! Even though he's not so nice back to her. Which has me perpelexed, is she happy or unhappy? Does she vent only when she has a bad day and overall it's not so bad and they're just suffering from typical marriage problems? She has never used the word 'abuse', but rather 'disrespect'. IMO, he is abusive if he puts her down constantly. I'd like to add, this woman is quite dramatic, cries over the smallest things - which makes me confused even more because I don't know if she's making a bigger deal out of the situation. She likes playing the victim constantly. Lastly, she has the support of her parents and sibling should she want to leave, so she's not alone. She could also get a job or apply for benefits. Wondering if anyone encountered a similar situation?
    9 replies | 145 view(s)
  • Missyconfused's Avatar
    03-01-2018, 10:38 AM
    Missyconfused started a thread Tv media porn etc in Guests
    I find after rape I cannot watch films including any sexual content I do not like my partner looking at newspapers or any sexualised images Iím losing it I donít feel right at all is this normal I feel sick at the thought of it I can just cope with sex at the moment but for him to watch anything like it makes me wanna vomit I canít even sit near him n get 😡
    4 replies | 134 view(s)
  • Unregistered's Avatar
    02-23-2018, 11:31 PM
    Unregistered started a thread Abusers blame me in Guests
    Lately I've been getting in fights with my abusers. I still live with them and can't afford to move away. I didn't used to resist them but I'm coming closer and closer to suicide and so I've been fighting back. This has only made things worse. Anyways. My abusers are claiming that I haven't told them I disapproved of their behaviour, that I never protested. I have memories of protesting but they refuse to acknowledge it (they never allowed the protests to go unargued). Worse, because of gaps in my memory thanks to PTSD and depression, I don't remember everything. In my eyes, I've been abused for decades. In their eyes, I started to snap at them for no reason two months ago and they want me to stop and take the blame for everything (and also to "start fresh, ignoring everything that happened before"). I don't know how to hold my ground or even if I'm right to hold my ground, after all, my memory can't be trusted? I don't know what to do, please help if you can. __________________ BTW: To the forum admins, Captcha put up a warning saying this version of Captcha is going to be shut down by the end of March, just wanted you to know.
    3 replies | 151 view(s)
  • Cinemaslayer's Avatar
    03-07-2018, 09:43 PM
    Hope has found its way back in; it is questioned and doubted but it has found its space within me. Love is a desire and has been for me for a long time. It was long removed by abuse, I am almost 10 months freed. I am in some sense isolated (small town <500), young children and on maternity leave. Online dating became choice. Asserting boundaries here has been tough. I feel worn down by the barrage of rude, insincere and what can only be described as sex focused men. I have learned a few lessons and am pausing to lick wounds. The abuse is a chapter I have had to accept and in some sense am still living with in regards to the custody battle and divorce that is so desperately needed. This is a chapter that will need to be known at some point. I accept that. I accept it is not pretty. It is hard. But I want this I need this I deserve this....ability to love again. Iím afraid once I start dabbling again that I wonít have learned enough, that Iím still too vulnerable, or the worst that Iíll be stuck on the last 6 years unable to discuss anything beyond my abuse. What have others experienced? How did you feel and how did you deal? I see two Counsellorís and am working through but could really use experiences of others, I need to know what is there?
    3 replies | 113 view(s)
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