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  • Jane's Avatar
    Yesterday, 06:16 AM
    Jane replied to a thread My Wife Hits Me in Guests
    Glad you now have support and a plan - a lawyer on your side. My thoughts are with you as you at this challenging time - For you and your delightful sounding little daughter. :rs
    4 replies | 69 view(s)
  • Sunfl0wer's Avatar
    Yesterday, 05:58 AM
    Sunfl0wer replied to a thread My Wife Hits Me in Guests
    Oh man, what a way to live. Not my place at all to judge but I am so glad you are getting guidance from domestic violence folks and are making plans. I do recall somewhere that it is best when you need to leave temporarily to stay at a friends place, then stay at another friends place the next time and so on. I think it is an intentional technique on sharing the awareness of ones situation with a larger scope of folks so when it is time to make the leap for leaving, you have widened your support network over time. While current abuse issues are out of the scope of what Fort covers, I am so glad you are building your network of supporters and have 3D guidance from those who have helped others navigate the kind of situation that you are in. I do wish you and your little ones safety and security that every human deserves. Hope to see you register for membership in the future when the abuse is no longer an ongoing thing and you are needing support coping with the aftermath of it all. :bf :bf
    4 replies | 69 view(s)
  • Unregistered's Avatar
    Yesterday, 12:28 AM
    Unregistered replied to a thread My Wife Hits Me in Guests
    On November 28th when my wife hit me the last time, I was really wishing it would end and I'd get away from her. I even had a momentary thought that I'd be happier in jail than having to deal with this. For me jail seemed like a safer place. That's how desperate I've become. Now I'm not going to do anything to end up in jail because I have to take care of my daughter and that's my absolute highest priority. I've talked a bit with some very close friends about that happened on the 28th and I even told me dad. If things start brewing again, then I need to leave the house no matter what. My lawyer has said the same. I talked with my dad today and said November was the first month in a quite a few months where I didn't stay somewhere else overnight to let things cool down. I was out with my 15 month baby girl a two days ago and a nice older woman was marveling at her and said that at about one year a baby has a 1000 word vocabulary. That they understand that much already but they can't say the words yet. Now I think it's really kind of cute because sometimes my baby girl is about to do something and I'll say something to her like I would an adult and she'll stop and not do it. I told my wife about our babies vocabulary and we both were very excited about it. Now I've had a feeling for the past year that when my wife is mad at me that the baby can sense it. Now that I sort of think she can understand what's going on, I really don't want my wife to ever argue with me when the baby is around. I'm even trying to use complete sentences with my baby girl, instead of saying something like no. That said, my wife lost her cool again tonight and even though I asked her very nicely to not yell at me or say the F word to me or other really mean nasty things about what a low life I am, which is her routine tirade with me -- she still did for about an hour. It used to tire her out and she'd have a hard time sleeping. I can only imagine what this does to the kidney bean size baby inside her belly at 8 weeks pregnant. She's also trying to isolate me, so I don't have contact with my friends. On Halloween there was a burst of temper from her and that day I went to a church that has advocates for domestic violence victims and got the ball rolling with that. I met with my advocate a 2nd time yesterday and it was good to get current with him. It doesn't change anything, but it felt better. We have to meet at a Walmart I go shopping at so it looks like a routine thing I'm doing because I'm still on GEO tracking. She's also trying to get at the money I make with my businesses. This week I had to open a new business bank account at a different bank so if things ever get really bad, I have the ability to continue on and take care of my baby girl. I met with a friend whose house I say at sometimes when things get ugly at home. I did some computer work for him and I had him meet me somewhere near his house, transfer the stuff to his car, drive back to his house in his car and leave my GEO tracking cellphone in my car. I didn't want my safe place to be found out by my wife. Now look, I can understand that my wife is pregnant and would rather not be working, but we need the money to make ends meet. This is a trigger for her on a routine basis. I want to cry when she yells at me and says I'm a horrible person. I can't do it in front of her or she'll use that against me too. It's all about control with her. I think in a way she was happy that I responded the way I did on the 28th because she finally got to me. I don't want to be controlled like that. Love and control don't work together. We have our first baby doctor visit next week and I hope everything continues to go well with the pregnancy and that mid summer 2018 we'll have another baby. That said, if things aren't a lot better then in the Autumn it's time for divorce. This is having an emotionally deteriorating effect on me. I feel like I'm in a really tough spot and that I can't leave while she's pregnant. She'd probably threaten me with an abortion and divorce. I pray for strength every day. I pray for forgiveness when I don't feel I'm living up to my standards in the treatment of others. I also try to keep it focused on one day at a time. There's a little more than 200 days left to go with the pregnancy. Hopefully I'll find the grace to get through it.
    4 replies | 69 view(s)
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